How to Host a Nesting Party

Hosting Nesting Parties instead of Baby Showers is going viral, and I love it! It can work for both first-time parents and those who already have children! I first saw it on Instagram, and thought, amazing! Perhaps I should start a trend of a spring cleaning party, do you think it will catch on?

A nesting party should be no surprise to those of us who lived with extended families and communities that relied on each other. I would imagine my grandmother had her sisters-in-law as well as neighbors help with whatever needed to be done at home before the birth of a child, and not just then as well. They would come together for any occasion, whether happy or sad, cook together, share stories, and if need be, clean the whole house together, and care for each other’s children.

I understand that with the years, the support you get from your community has changed. And whatever was done traditionally may have changed, whether it was before or after having a baby. In Arab culture, more specific to Jordan, Palestine and Syria, the celebration of a newborn usually happens after the baby is born. Traditionally the family would be gifted flour, rice or sugar. Now people simply gift cash, and sometimes something for the baby, and if lucky something for the one who had the baby! Usually the money is either used to support the family financially, or if they are well off, they can save the money for the baby to spend later in life. In my family, my parents gifted me and my sisters-in-law jewelry, and since my mom is so great at gift picking, they were always great pieces!

Even though it might seem transactional to have someone gift money in some cultures, in Arab culture, it is not. Perhaps what makes it seem transactional is the effects of capitalism on what may seem a simple celebration of a newborn. Capitalism, colonialism, and occupation have affected the SWANA region. And what may have seemed a necessity back in the day, has now changed based on what settler colonialism made us believe is what should be done, or in some cases, what needs to be done to survive.

When you are forced to leave your home, extended family, community and, state or country for a better opportunity for yourself and your family, you are sacrificing a lot. The better opportunities you seek are most likely to do with a better financial income, because life keeps getting more expensive. And if you want to start a family, living in the US, you need to think about how much money you will be spending on childcare if you need a break or if you have to go back to work because you need the income. And since parental leaves are not paid, depending on how great or not so great the company you work for is. When you go back to your job, you are given a whole bunch of shit about how “women can do it all” and how “you should be on top of things”. The thing is, yes, women can do it all. But sometimes we are tired and don’t want to. This societal pressure has left a lot of people feeling that they need to push through pain, be spread too thin and not ask for help, not speak up because they were once told that’s complaining and is a weakness. Well, my friend, these are all ideologies pushed by capitalist misogynistic mentalities that we need to start recognizing and standing up against. We are not weak if we ask for help, we are not weak if we show vulnerability, we are not weak if we do things collectively, together as a community.

So if you are thinking of having a party where you kick your feet up and watch everyone else do the work. Have yourself a wonderful guilt-free nesting party!